An open letter to someone who doesn’t believe me, who’s not listening, who’s someone I never thought would shock me the way you did.
As kids, I learned that when something happens, you don’t talk about it. Serious things were never spoken about, you dealt with it yourself or you kept quiet. I’ve done this all my life, not anymore.
We’ve been in each-other’s lives for years, you’ve always been one of my favorites but on Saturday night as we sat in a room full of people that we’ve known all our lives, my opinion of you changed. It changed forever. I can’t promise it didn’t change for the worse but it’s changed. I am firm in the belief of the following: you can’t pick your family, you don’t always have to like someone but you have to be respectful. That changed too.
we sat there and someone said, as a joke in a conversation “me, too” he was mocking it and it triggered something for me. I commented and said – that’s not a very fair thing to say, why would you say that? And from there, it ignited a fire. A conversation that hit me like a truck, 200km racing down the highway and I was the only person standing in front of it. We all started debating the case about a Hollywood producer who’s in the media for multiple sexual harassment cases against him. You both sat there and in not so many words voice the statement “innocent until proven guilty”. At that point, the truck was getting closer… inches away. The second we started talking about it, you both firmly voiced your opinions this person was potentially innocent and that potentially some of these victims who were coming forward were potentially doing it to advance their careers. Now I understand and “respect” your opinions and your thought process, given what you do for a living but you forgot what it’s like to be human. You forgot that these are human beings going through something beyond what you would ever have to experience. I sat there, fuming, asking you if you had ever experienced sexual harassment and you said no. I hope it stays no for you forever, I hope your significant other never goes through it, I hope the mother of your children never goes through it, I hope your children never have to experience it. I hope that you or anyone you love is never forced to do anything they don’t want to do. I hope that you never have to make the tough call of someone taking advantage of you but you have to make the decision that keeps you the safest because you don’t know what that person is capable of doing. I hope you NEVER have to experience the pain of it and the after fall that comes with it day in and day out, it stays with you forever. I have.
I have never told anyone, I have lived with it for a couple years and I replay it in my mind all the time. Daily. But as of Saturday night, I don’t let it control me moving forward. I am not quite ready to share my story but rest assured, when I am – I will not stay quiet.
ME FUCKING TOO.